


aevum

by Nicoleks



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Engagement, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, emotional stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 16:32:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13838700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicoleks/pseuds/Nicoleks
Summary: Cat's fears and insecurities lead to something good for her and Kara.





	aevum

**Author's Note:**

> This is... A Mess and I really don't think I accomplished everything I wanted to with this fic, but after editing and re-editing and starting over multiple times I've decided to just go for it and post it because why not, right?

During the early days of her journalism career, when she was still answering phone calls and transcribing interviews for senior reporters, Cat often wondered how she would have reported the fall of Rome. Something dramatic, she thought would be nice, something wordy and prose heavy, a tribute to a great city in all of its glorious aftermath.

Sometimes she thinks that’s how she’ll report the fall of Supergirl, a memorial laid out on her newspaper’s front page, all grand and gilded and reverent. Something heavy with honor, heavier with sorrow.

She hated herself just a little bit for even thinking in terms of _when_ and not _if,_ and beyond that, she always thinks _Supergirl_ because she can’t bring herself to think _Kara_. Because even heroes can’t live forever and Cat knew that despite her own desperate attempts to delay the inevitable for both of them, time would continue to run along its own line with the precision of a folded dollar bill.

And she dreaded the day Kara’s time would run out, when Cat would be left with nothing but Kara’s memory, the day she could do nothing more than stare holes into old photographs and home videos.

Cat shut her eyes tightly for a few seconds to clear the morbid thoughts and gripped the metal railing in front of her with one hand, the other grasping a glass of scotch firmly. When she opened them, she simply breathed in deeply and watched as lightning parted the sky. The air surrounding her was cool and misty, the first sign of a real rainstorm in National City finally showing itself. Or perhaps it was a sign of the Kryptonian gods that Kara often prayed to in the mornings. At least, Cat chose to think of it that way to push the storm’s reminders of Livewire and snapping elevator cables and almost-tragedies out of her mind.

The balcony roof overhead would protect her from any light rain, but she knew it would be best to head inside soon. Still, she couldn’t help stealing one more moment to feel the thunder shake the air, watch the lightning illuminate the city, _her_ city, sprawled out in front of her.

It seemed like a lifetime ago that Cat was living in a hazy one bedroom apartment on the second floor of some run down skyscraper, working at the Daily Planet, fighting to make her own name for herself, _fighting,_ fighting always. The front door was black, the walls white and stained, paint chipping away from a lack of upkeep, and the living room always smelled of settled smoke and copper. But when it came time to move on, she’d kneeled on those scratched up hardwood floors in front of empty boxes, books and photos and newspaper clippings laid out in front of her like an elegy brought to life, and she’d cried for hours before willing herself to pack her things.

Cat never understood why it had hurt so badly to leave that space, why it had felt so much like _grief,_  why she still thinks of afternoons she'll never get back in a place she doesn't live in anymore. Maybe it had simply been about the overwhelming loss of a home. Maybe it was about the loss of herself, of knowing she would never be the same person she was in that damn hole of an apartment.

There was no way to know for sure.

But Cat _did_ know that she had certainly never expected to find a home for herself and her son in a person, in a woman who wasn't a god, but was definitely the closest she'd ever felt to holiness, to _forever._

“Hey there, love,” two familiar arms wrapped around her stomach, hands coming to rest flat on her stomach as a loving, lingering kiss was pressed against her temple, “You okay? Carter said you seemed a little bit off tonight?”

Cat couldn’t help closing her eyes at the liquid voice in her ear. She breathed in deeply and let the smell of Kara’s light perfume overwhelm her before responding, “Just have a few things on my mind tonight, it seems. But don’t worry, I’m fine, darling.”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, moving her hands to Cat’s hips, squeezing softly at the exposed skin where the older woman’s blouse was riding up, before turning Cat around in her arms so they were chest to chest, the height difference more pronounced with Cat barefoot and Kara still in her work attire and boots.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Cat nodded, though her eyelids began to line with slight tears.

“Hey, hey,” Kara brought her hands up to Cat’s cheeks, lifting her face so green eyes met blue, “You're scaring me now, tell me what's wrong?”

A strained silenced stretched between them like a wire as Cat grasped at the words just out of reach. She looked away for a few seconds and stared at the murky city lights in the distant, the buildings grey and shadowed, clouds heavy with rain.

“For the past few weeks, every time I close my eyes at night, I see everything happening all at once,” Cat finally admitted, sagging against the woman she loved so much, “Pleading with Leslie for your life. Pleading with Leslie and Siobhan for both of our lives. God, Carter and the damn _train,_ ” she paused, this time peering into the living room through the open doors. She stole a glance at the throw rug beneath the coffee table, the same one she’d fallen to her knees to the morning after Myriad. Another almost-tragedy, another almost-fall of Rome.

Everywhere she looked, it seemed she found time condensed into memories.

Gaze firmly fixed on the rug, Cat continued, “It all just reminds me how incapable I really am of protecting my family.”

“Cat, you already protect me every day by giving me a reason to keep fighting. You, Carter, Alex, you're all such _huge_ parts of the fire that fuels me. You guys- you all light the way for me, and you give Carter and I so much of yourself that you protect us just by _being_ here.”

The rain falling just a few feet away began to grow heavier and both women could feel stray drops hitting their cheeks, the air bordering on blistering, but neither Cat nor Kara moved to step inside. The balcony lights above them were dim, but Kara’s blonde, messy waves were partly haloed by the light streaming in from the living room.

“I just- I hope I can be strong enough to help you _lift_ the burdens you already carry, not weigh you down even further with my own baggage,” Cat shrugged to shake off some of the tension, but the words were anything but light, “I hope- you’ve grown so much as a hero and reporter and as a _person_ and sometimes I wonder if you still need me the way you did when I was just your mentor.”

As Cat finally chanced a glance up at her Kryptonian lover, in the back of her mind she once again thought _Rome_ and _heroes_ and _fallen._

“Cat, don’t you know that you’ve always given me something to fight for, somewhere to run to instead of from? I will _always_ need you, nothing could possibly change that,” Kara murmured, “And even after everything you’ve been through, you are still _so_ good and brave just like you always have been. Believe me, I don't think that will ever change,” she teased with a small smiled before she leaned in and kissed Cat’s forehead, letting her lips linger softly.

They stood wrapped up in each other for a few seconds, Kara placing soft kisses against Cat’s jaw and cheekbone before Kara finally asked timidly, “Is… Am I one of your nightmares? When I…threw you off the- the balcony at CatCo, that is? Are you dreaming about that, too, is that why you didn't tell me until now?”

“No, no, of course not, darling,” she pressed herself closer into Kara, pressing her cheek to the younger woman’s chest, “Even my subconscious knows that you would never hurt me. You’ve always given me _hope_ , Kara, a kind of hope I never knew existed.”

As Cat took a deep breath and looked away again, Kara waited patiently, giving Cat the time to arrange her words properly.

Cat thought back to that one bedroom apartment, to the person she would never be again, and continued, “I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would be disappointed that I wasn't...that I’m _not_ the same strong person you looked up to before super villainous ex-employees attacked CatCo and before rampant Kryptonians invaded National City.”

“Hey, look at me,” Kara wrapped her arms fully around Cat’s thin waist as tightly as she dared, pausing until Cat lifted her chin to look Kara in the eye hesitantly, “You're enough, Cat. You’re enough. You've always _been_ enough.”

With that, Cat lunged forward and pressed her face into Kara’s neck, shuddering as a few stray tears ran down her jaw. Kara simply held the older woman and placed kisses against her hair, a hand rubbing up and down her back soothingly.

After a few minutes, Kara pulled away just enough for them to face each other again.

“Marry me, Cat,” she breathed out in an airy whisper like a desperate prayer, “I've been waiting for the right moment, and I swear I have your ring tucked away in the bottom drawer of the dresser in the bedroom and- and _please_ marry me and let me _prove_ that we’ll have each other for the rest of our lives, _beyond_ that even,” Kara rambled quickly, only knowing she needed to get the message through to Cat that this, the two of _them_ , were built to outlast everything.

And in those watchful blue eyes, Cat could see mornings full of coffee steam and reading on the couch with books propped on knees. She could see Kara’s profile silhouetted by the sunlight pouring in from open balcony doors. Cat could see herself watching the breeze in the curtains while Kara gently corrects Carter’s painting technique, their heads pressed together as they regard their work with utmost seriousness, the musky scent of oil paints overwhelming the air.

In Kara, she saw time finally running _forward_ , not back. Rome standing tall, not crumbled into ash.

“ _Yes_ ,” Cat leaned forward and pressed her lips to Kara’s hard, leaving no space between their bodies.

They kissed desperately, Kara biting on Cat’s bottom lip and eliciting a moan from the older woman, while Cat’s firm hands wandered down Kara’s arms to grasp at her biceps and hold tightly.

After a few minutes of giving and taking, of gasping and breathing each other in, Kara pulled away slowly, leaving soft pecks against Cat’s lips until they were staring into each other’s eyes heavily.

“Hey, what's going on?” Both women pulled away, taking a step back with hands still tangled together, and looked over to see their twelve-year-old boy walking across the living room, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Jeez, it's freezing in here!” he exclaimed, brushing curly brown bangs that were falling into his eyes, looking between Cat and Kara worriedly, “Everything okay?”

Kara looked to Cat with a grin and an eyebrow raised in question. Cat smiled and nodded, lifting a hand to subtly wipe stray tears and rain droplets from her right cheek.

“Guess what, buddy?” Kara was practically bouncing in place as Carter stepped onto the balcony. He looked up at her in anticipation, curious green eyes so similar to his mother’s making Kara’s smile widen even further. The Kryptonian wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close to her side, “Your mom and I are engaged!”

“Really?! Wow, it's about time!” Carter threw his arms around Kara’s waist, and had she been human, he would have knocked her off-balance. But being super, Kara kept them both steady and hugged him right back, leaning down to place a kiss to the top of his curly hair.

Watching her fiancée and son with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth to bite back the fresh tears threatening to fall, Cat knew then that the person she was now, the life she’d managed to forge, had been cut with everything she’d ever dreamed of. And she would carry Kara’s light with her like a shield to protect that life, to force time to be still, to protect her family with all of her abilities.

But despite her fears of fallen empires and old apartments full of ghosts and heroes turned memorials, for now, for now she would just let it all be.

**Author's Note:**

> aevum: the mode of existence experienced by angels and by the saints in heaven; in some ways, it is a state that logically lies between eternity (timelessness) and the temporal experience of material beings.


End file.
